If it’s meant to be, it’ll be

 A new Florida Georgia Line (yes, I know, really!? but seriously) song has really caught my attention and I feel like it is the anthem of this moment. The song has a pretty simple line that makes up most of the ballad, “If it’s meant to be it’ll be, it’ll be, it’ll be, baby just let it be.” This is my song, right here, right now. I have never been able to just let it be. My whole life has been planned out. That’s who I am, a planner. But, my life, as of late, has gone anything but according to my plan. Now, that’s not to say that life is not great, because it is great, it is just not what I thought it was going to be.

Before June of 2016 I never let it be. But that month life took a turn for the unexpected and I lost control and really haven’t been able to regain control since. After trying to get pregnant for 6 months we were finally 6 weeks along. We were ecstatic that after disappointing months, HSG, progesterone, clomid, poking and prodding, and praying, so much praying here we were, “expecting”. We were cruising right along in the early stages of pregnancy and all of a sudden in the blink of an eye, on June 21, 2016 I was in excruciating pain and rushed into emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy.

At that moment we didn’t know the extent of the surgery. We would soon learn that not only did we have to deal with the removal of the pregnancy but also the removal of one of my two fallopian tubes because of the damage the ectopic pregnancy caused. That moment right there was the start to when everything started to go off course for us.

The next few days after the ectopic pregnancy were trying. The next few months were even more trying as we began to heal both physically and emotionally. Obviously the man doesn’t physically go through the pregnancy journey or loss but he still very much emotionally goes through it, and that is forgotten, often. I regularly look at my husband and admire his strength and ability to only look to the future and never look at the past. This man of mine never shows weakness and only shows strength for those around him, it is both admirable and unbelievable.

So, with the help of Danny’s strength and forward looking, we kept healing and enjoyed the Minnesota summer months. We decided that we would start trying again in the fall. I had my prescription of Clomid ready and my ovulation kit on standby. But something kept holding us back. Were we really ready to go down this road again? Are we still healing?

Regardless of what we thought we were feeling, on November 2, 2016, I went in for a routine physical. To the naked eye I was a healthy 27 year old, and had been told that at basically all of my physicals for my entire life, I was expecting to be told the same again this year.

But this time was different. During my examination the nurse practitioner felt a lump on my thyroid. A lump? What does that mean? Honestly, I had little to no knowledge of what a thyroid even was or what it did so how could I have a lump on it? But, here we were, a lump. I was quickly scheduled for an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed that there was in fact a lump. A biopsy the next day confirmed the lump was suspicious and in a matter of days surgery was scheduled for December 19, 2016 at Mayo Hospital.

Surgery day came and we waited around for 6 hours until the OR was ready. Danny, my mom and Danny’s parents were by my side as we waited for surgery to begin. One thing I can say is laughter is truly a powerful thing. We were in a tiny room for SIX hours just waiting but we didn’t forget to laugh. I kept looking at Danny, my mom and my in-laws and kept thinking about how lucky I was to have such an amazing team by my side.

Finally it was time for surgery, I wanted Danny to be by my side the entire time until the very last moment so he was with me until the second I was wheeled in to the OR. I went into the operating room, took an anesthesia induced snooze and just like that it was over and I was awake.

Surgery is a crazy thing, especially surgery where there is an unknown. I am the one who had surgery and before I knew the outcome, my loved ones were already informed. It’s probably better that way, so they can cope and grieve first before they need to be there for you. But, a part of me wishes I could have been there for them and we could have all found out together. I wanted to hold their hand when they found out the bad news, be next to them and tell them it would all be ok. But I wasn’t, so I took matters in to my own hands this time around and wanted to know the outcome before I saw my family. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who knows me, as I am a type A personality to the fullest. Well, what I learned from the nurse (who was extremely shocked that I was awake and talking after such a big surgery) was that the “C” word was now one of my words.

I always hear that thyroid cancer is one of the “best cancers” you can get. The survival rate is high and your overall life expectancy is not impacted as a result of the cancer diagnosis. I lose sight of this sometimes because in the almost year following surgery there have been numerous trips down to Mayo, a false all clear, full body scans, ultrasounds, PET scan, thyrogen stimulated scans, blood work, doctors appointments, radioactive iodine, you name it, we’ve done it. Yet, we have yet to get the true all clear. Something in my blood is still showing cancer cells, somewhere in my body there’s something. It’s hard for me to really comprehend that this is going on in MY body. It doesn’t feel like I’m “sick” how could I not be completely healthy when I feel completely fine.

And even though we have not been able to get answers about my cancer diagnosis we have found other health issues that have been fixed in the meantime. Just this past weekend I went in for another surgery that will hopefully help us in our quest to start a family. We would never have discovered the need for the surgery if it weren’t for my PET scan. So for that I am thankful for the PET scan that saw something just a little off that led us to discover this issue.

So here we are, almost two years and three surgeries later from when we first started on the road to begin a family. We are childless, not pregnant and at this time no timeline of when we will be having a plus one join us. We are constantly asked why we don’t have kids and have to laugh our way through a response while holding back the tears because it is just too difficult to talk about. But we are letting it be. We trust our journey and pray that it will be our time soon.

For now, what we have is hope. We have hope that we will get the all clear and we have hope that we will be able to start our family and join, what feels like, everyone around us, on Instagram, Facebook, and the world as parents. We know we will get our time and we will get to hear the magic words “you are cancer free” and later we will hear “you are pregnant.” We know it will come and we also know that our journey is really nothing in comparison to what it could be and what others have gone through.

We also know we are not alone. We are not the only ones going through infertility, cancer or even surgeries to achieve an end goal. Yes, it is a little unusual that we are going through all at the same time but we are not alone. It is incredibly easy to isolate yourself and think woe is me but whenever I reach a hurdle I always remember that it can be worse. I wake up every morning and am thankful for this life I live. It is not perfect, it is not my plan, but it is mine and I love every second of it, even in those not so happy times. This is the life that is meant to be mine. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. I’m letting it be.

 

Espadrille Obsession

Summer weather is finally here which means we can put away the boots for a few months and bring out the summer shoes! Right now, I am absolutely obsessing over espadrilles. Flat espadrilles, wedge espadrilles, sandal espadrilles… anything espadrilles, I am OBSESSED!! Here are a few espadrilles that I am absolutely loving right now.

Flat Espadrilles

Circus by Sam Edelman- Rose All Day Espadrille Flats from Macys (I have these and LOVE them)
Tory Burch-Colorblock Espadrille Flat from Nordstrom
Joie Wallie-Denim Lace Up Espadrille Flats from Bloomingdales

Wedge Espadrilles

See by Chloe- Glyn Chambray Espadrille Wedge Platform Sandal from Saks Fifth Avenue
Kate Spade New York- Darya from Zappos
Loeffler Randall Harper Angle-Wrap Wedge Espadrille Sandal from Neiman Marcus

Sandal Espadrilles

Rebecca Minkoff- Gemma Lace-Up Leather Espadrille Sandals from Saks Fifth Avenue
Soludos Classic Sandal Leather from Zappos
Andre Assous-Samantha Suede Espadrille Sandal from Neiman Marcus 

Enjoy!

Until next time.

xoxo,
Blair

Here, There and Everywhere

The winter blues are real and I caught a really bad case of them in February. I was cold and tired of being cold. As a result, I neglected writing. All I wanted to do was get out of town, and get out of town I did. In the matter of five weeks I went to New York, Chicago, Austin and Naples, Florida. It was exactly what I needed. Once I got home I was refreshed and ready to hit the ground running. My focus is back 100% and I can’t wait to share amazing new content with you.

For now, I am going to share some travel pictures. Enjoy!

Until next time (I PROMISE it won’t be another two and a half months!)

xoxo
Blair

New York: 

Austin:

Naples, Florida: 

 

Ambitious Kitchen Chia, Quinoa & Banana Granola Bars

I have been wanting to make my own granola bars for a long time. This chia, quinoa & banana granola bar recipe was the perfect first recipe to give granola bars a go. And let me tell you- they are DELICIOUS. Another huge plus- they are so easy to make.

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INGREDIENTS
  • 1 cup gluten free rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup uncooked pre-rinsed quinoa
  • 2 tablespoons chia seeds
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 2 ripe bananas, mashed (about 3/4 cup)
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 cup roughly chopped almonds
  • 1/4 cup chopped pecans
  • 1/3 cup dried fruit (raisins or cranberries work well)
  • 1/4 cup natural creamy almond butter
  • 2 tablespoons honey or pure maple syrup
Instructions from Ambitious Kitchen
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8×8 inch baking pan with parchment paper to prevent bars from sticking.
  2. In a large bowl, combine oats, uncooked quinoa, chia seeds, salt and cinnamon. Stir in mashed banana and vanilla. Fold in almonds, pecans (or walnuts) and dried fruit.
  3. Place a small saucepan over low heat; add in almond butter and honey (or maple syrup) and stir until warm and almond butter is melted. Fold into granola bar mixture until well combined. Pour into prepared pan and press down firmly with hands or with a measuring cup to help bars stay intact. Bake for 25 minutes or until edges turn golden brown. Allow to cool completely before cutting into 10 bars.

Let me know what you think!

xoxo
Blair (follow me on Instagram- @Bewithblair)

Ski Trip Packing List

We are going on a ski trip in a few weeks and all I can think about are the clothes!

I am LOVING this Canada Goose jacket. This jacket is on my total wish list. Swoon.

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Faux fur is a must in the mountains.

 

The French Connection vest is from Bloomingdales and the Kenneth Cole coat is from Nordstrom and is ON SALE!

Winter boots are obviously a necessity on a ski trip.

Both of these Sorel boots are, again, on sale!! Find the tan ones here and black ones here.

These adorable Coach rain boots would be so perfect in the snow. You can find them, again ON SALE, at Nordstrom.

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How cute is this H&M wool hat?!                        This UGG hat is perfect for the slopes.

Lastly, at the end of a long day in the cold I can’t wait to get in my flannel pajamas. Call me a grandma but I seriously love wearing flannel pajamas. These two are perfect options (I actually have the set from Target and it is SO comfortable.)

Screen Shot 2016-01-26 at 8.42.40 PMTarget Screen Shot 2016-02-16 at 6.37.39 PMNordstrom 

xoxo
Blair

Follow me on Instagram @bewithblair

Valentine’s Day, My Way

I’m sure you don’t need to be reminded but, yesterday was Valentine’s Day. A made up Hallmark holiday filled with pink, hearts, and a whole lotta love. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good reason to celebrate. I grew up in a household where every single holiday was celebrated. So much so that I would get holiday related socks for everything. I’m talking Halloween, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day- you name it, I probably have a pair of socks for that holiday (and anyone who has lived with me or one of my sisters knows this to be true as they probably have a collection of their own holiday related socks as well 🙂 ).

It should be no surprise that all I need is a reason to celebrate and I am a happy girl.  But my love of celebrations usually comes at the expense of my husband having to plan said celebrations. This year I started to think- why does all of the planning always have to be on the guy in the relationship? Why does my husband HAVE to plan the day? Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. So, this year I decided to take matters in to my own hands.

This Valentine’s Day I wanted to plan a day that was stress free for my husband and fun for the both of us. We started the day off with brunch at Spoon and Stable. If you haven’t been to Spoon and Stable for brunch, run, don’t walk there. It is seriously SO good. With your brunch menu, you also get a pastry menu. There are a ton of selections to pick from. You seriously cannot go wrong with any of their pastries. Delish! All of their brunch items are incredible as well. Oh and obviously don’t forget about indulging in a brunch cocktail. They have the most unique cocktails for brunch. I was boring and went with a mimosa but my husband had the Irish coffee. Yum!

Our next stop was The Depot Ice Rink.  My husband is a hockey player and in the five and a half years we have been together we have never been ice skating together. It made me feel like a little kid again. It was so much fun to lace up our skates and get out on the ice.

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After we had eaten and burned some calories, it was time to drink. Minnesota has SO many new breweries so you really can’t go wrong. But one of my favorites is Lakes & Legends Brewing Company. Aside from the beer, which is great, it has the cutest aesthetic. String lights line the ceiling and they recreated a campfire outdoorsy feel inside. So on the coldest of days you can step inside the brewery and feel like you are gathered around the campfire with your best friends playing board games and bags. So fun! After a few beers and a couple rounds of bags (my husband beat me both times- per usual!), our Valentine’s Day had come to an end. It was such an incredible day of laughs and love.

I encourage you to do something special for your significant other. It was amazingly fun to mix up the status quo for this Valentine’s Day and be the one surprising, not being the one who was surprised.

Until next time.

xoxo
Blair

Follow me on Instagram- @bewithblair

Weekend Getaway in Naples, Florida

Is there anything better than a weekend getaway?! It’s just enough time away to recharge your batteries and come back to reality feeling refreshed. This past weekend, my getaway location of choice was Naples, Florida. My husband was on a boys golf trip in Arizona so there was no way I was going to stay in the subzero Minnesota temperatures while he was in the warm sun. So- Naples here I come! Also, not only did I get a weekend away but my sister flew down to meet me from New York, which was amazing.

IMG_3068 I started the trip off with a row to myself!! It was so nice to stretch out my whole 5′ 2″ self 🙂

The first day we were in Florida we had lunch at Barbatella, which was so cute. There is an amazing fountain in the middle of the outdoor patio that we sat by, drank some prosecco and ate Italian food. I highly recommend going to this restaurant. After lunch we went to the beach to enjoy the gorgeous crystal clear blue sky day!

The next day we went to Stage Deli for breakfast. This is our go-to place for breakfast. It is in the Mercato which is a cute outdoor mall with great little shops. So, you eat a great deli breakfast and then go shopping, what could be better!?

IMG_3117It was already our last night in Naples so we got drinks at Caffe Milano to cheers to our last night in paradise and ate dinner at bha! bha! Persian Bistro. GO TO bha! bha! if you are in Naples! It is SO good!!

IMG_3133And just like that the weekend was over.

I am already daydreaming about my next vacation! Can’t wait to share it with you!

Until next time!

xoxo
Blair

Follow me on Instagram @bewithblair

Healthified Crock Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

Tonights dinner was healthified crock pot chicken tortilla soup from The Skinny Fork . This recipe is so incredibly easy. The directions…you literally just throw all of the ingredients in the crock pot and that’s it. The best part is that when you get home from work, you have a delicious meal, cooked and ready to go. Enjoy!

You will need:

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1 Lb. Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts (About 2-3 Breasts), Cubed
10 Oz. Diced Tomatoes With Green Chilies (RoTel)
14.5 Oz. Diced or Whole Peeled Tomatoes (No Salt Added), Un-drained
1 C. Corn, Frozen & Thawed
14.5 Oz. Black Beans (No Salt Added), Drained & Rinsed
1 Medium White Onion, Diced
1-2 Jalapeño, Diced
2 Cloves Garlic, Minced
2-3 C. Reduced Sodium Chicken Broth (I use Sodium Free Instant Chicken + Water)
1 Tsp. Ground Cumin
1 Tsp. Chili Powder
1 Tsp. Salt
1/4 Tsp. Black Pepper

Toss everything in the slow cooker on low for 6-8 hours.

Top the soup with your favorite toppings! We used low fat cheese, chips, jalapeños, and avocado.

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Enjoy!

Until next time.

xoxo

Blair
Follow me on Instagram @bewithblair

 

Off the Shoulder Everything

I am obsessed with anything and everything off the shoulder for this spring. There is something about showing a little shoulder and collarbone that instantly takes an outfit to the next level. Here are some of my favorites to get you in the mood for warmer weather and a little less clothing.

Elliat ‘Sculpture’ Chevron Stripe Woven Sheath Dress is from Nordstrom (on sale!)

BB Dakota Manda Dress is from Revolve

VAVA by Jon Pia Off the Shoulder Romper is from Revolve

Love Cold Off Shoulder Romper from Asos

Free People Tiny Flounces Cami

Forever 21  Off the Shoulder Crop Top

Self Portrait Off-the-Shoulder Jumpsuit from Neiman Marcus

Warehouse Off the Shoulder Jumpsuit from Asos

xoxo
Blair

Follow me on Instagram –@bewithblair

 

Crock Pot Honey-Garlic Chicken

Happy Thursday! Today I am sharing one of my husbands favorite meals, Honey Garlic Chicken. This recipe is from Diethood and it is seriously SO easy and delicious, you can’t not make it.

You will need:

  • 4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
  • 4 garlic cloves, minced
  • ⅓ cup honey
  • ½ cup ketchup (you can also use low-sodium ketchup, if available)
  • ½ cup low sodium soy sauce
  • ½ teaspoon dried oregano
  • 2 tablespoons fresh parsley
  • ½ tablespoon toasted sesame seeds (I didn’t have sesame seeds so I did not use them)

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Instructions:

  1. Arrange chicken thighs on the bottom of your slow cooker; set aside
  2. In a mixing bowl, combine garlic, honey, ketchup, soy sauce, oregano and parsley; whisk until thoroughly combined.
  3. Pour the sauce over the chicken thighs.
  4. Close with a lid and cook for 6 to 7 hours on LOW, or 4 to 5 hours on HIGH.*
  5. Remove lid and transfer chicken to a serving plate.
  6. Spoon the sauce over the chicken and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.
  7. Serve

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Enjoy!

Until next time.

xoxo

Blair